Tape on absolutely everything, that’s the secret of completing the ‘mad’ Maldon Mud Race. Originating in 1973 as a challenge to a local landlord to serve a meal on the River Blackwater in Maldon, Essex, a year later the race across the estuary became the sticky gallop that we know it as today.
One of the most unusual events in the UK, it attracts both local and global media attention. While one of Suffolk’s best known winter traditions is the Lowestoft Christmas Day swim, Essex has the Maldon Mud Race. And believe me, even as a spectator, the competitors who brave the North Sea a few miles up the coast traditionally a week earlier than their Essex counterparts, have got it easy.
The 250 entrants today started from the beach, ran through the river up onto the mud banks behind a ship moored in the estuary, and then navigated the river once more, before crossing the finish line on the same side of the river from which they set off. The quickest racer completed it in around five minutes, with his second-placed compatriot a whisker behind.
Around 10,000 people watched and cheered from Promenade Park, and even though we had agreed it would be a different way to spend a Sunday morning, we weren’t quite prepared for the biting winter cold. Wearing thick coats, and our warmest gloves, scarves and hats, we stood on the river wall for 90 minutes before the event started, our feet numb from the icy air.
But we were toasty warm compared to many people a few yards away in the river. Wetsuits under fancy dress were largely the order of the day, but a few brave souls were stripped to the waist. They must have been beyond cold, and as the last stragglers came to the end, the mud they were covered in gradually got higher and higher up their bodies.
If you’re one of the first to finish, you’ve had a good run, as the mud is pretty much undisturbed, but if you happen to caught in the mid-field, or are one of the last, you have to walk, crawl, or even roll through the dirty deep sludge which is a now gloopy and full of holes where your faster, more successful competitors have trodden before you.
And the tape? Duct tape is the answer to a mud racer’s prayers. Used to securely fasten gloves and shoes onto bodies, if you don’t use it, you could be in big trouble as the mud sucks off your footwear, leaving you to fall face down in the sludge. One entrant hadn’t thought of this before he started, but just in the nick of time managed to fasten his shoes with parcel tape, making sure he finished, didn’t come to a very muddy end, and got his cold shower from water pumped from the nearby lake.
So, would we do it? Not a chance. From our front row vantage point, we decided there and then that we would forever stay cosy and warm, watching the charity racers do their bit for their chosen good causes. Metaphorical sticks in the mud, if you like.
I took part in the race this year and it was soooooo cold. Everyone did so well, and I look forward to doing it again next year!